10/25/11: Shitty Carwash v. Amateur Surgeon

Wow. I mean, just...wow. I'm not entirely positive I even want to know on this one. But, sure enough, one is a band and one is a game. True story.

Monster Island = Game; Fang Island = Band

"On an undiscovered island, beyond the reach of man, the creatures of the wild battle each other for total supremacy of Monster Island. Use the monster grenades at your disposal and fight to become the one monster to rule them all!" One monster to rule them allllll....mwah ha ha haaaaaa. Monster Island is a mild action game that can be played either free online at miniclip.com or on your iPhone. It isn't the most exciting game, but it does put a nice Spy-vs-Spy style bomb in your hand and give you free reign to blow up other monsters. While it's mildly addicting eventually, it takes several levels to become engagingly challenging. Were I to pit it against my other favorite bomber game, Atari 2600's Kaboom, I'd still say, cruddy graphics and all, Kaboom would still be victorious.

Fang Island is a band out of Providence, RI, now based in the mecca of all the people cooler than you - Brooklyn. Their music is self-described as sounding like "everyone high fiving everyone," which as far as descriptions go is better than most. Accurate, though? Sometimes. The sound is heavily instrumental, guitar-based rock and roll with a distinct lean toward prog-rock inspired leads. Sometimes the music is disconcertingly dissonant, and then at other times it sounds like exactly the kind of guitar work that you'd expect to build up to a chorus worthy of Boston's greatest hits. Songs where the boys in the band come in and half-chant, half-sing their lyrics, such as in the unabashedly handclap-heavy "Daisy," are the ones that come closest to attaining that high-five-ability that they claim. There is something joyful in these moments that make for, actually, a pretty good game soundtrack if, say, you're playing Monster Island instead of working like I am right now.

Daisy – Fang Island Lyrics & Listen

10/20/11: Monster Island vs. Fang Island

Battle of the shitty vacation destinations! Which is the band and which is the game?

Racing Penguin = Game, Penguin Prison = Band

Even though Penguin Prison has been around for a while, I couldn't resist including it because it seems to embody the perfect example of ridiculosity in band naming that inspired this game in the first place. I have to wonder, looking at names such as Penguin Prison if there is not a secret generator out there to come up with these names, similar to the way you can formulate either your Porn Star or your Drag Queen name. I'd imagine it would go something like this: 1. Name of an animal. 2. Name of a place you wouldn't want to be or a thing you wouldn't want to be involved in. I think, with that in mind, my band might be called Koala Dentist. Or maybe even Hamster Cemetary. Actually, either of those could be the next Stereogum band du jour. "Today's single of the day comes from East Los Angeles lo-fi kraut-pop outfit, Hamster Cemetary. Their debut (and destined to be only) 45, 'Asymmetrical Haircut' b/w 'RIP Walker Reader' drops November 11th on Brooklyn Trash Records." Sure, why not?



Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I feel that I should admit that I actually own a Penguin Prison 45. Because, basically, I am one of those people who will refuse to buy soup at the grocery store unless it is for sale for under two bucks, but have no qualms about buying import vinyl for $10 plus overseas shipping for one song and an instrumental remix of the same song. So there's me, sitting alone in my living room choosing to sustain myself on $2 Italian Wedding soup and a Penguin Prison 45, because I'll have to admit to you, it's pretty good (the record I mean, though the soup is also delicious).

The details: Penguin Prison is not technically a band. It's actually one former remixing, gospel singing, boy-banding, rapping overacheiving New Yorker named Chris Glover who finally found his niche in the flourishing electro dance pop genre. In 2009, Penguin Prison released "The Worse it Gets" on 45 (and shipped a copy right to my hi fi) to widespread blogger acclaim, and as of two days ago, has followed up several other successful singles and remixes with its first full length album (self-titled), relesed by Downtown Records. Continuing in the vein of a happier LCD Soundsystem, or a more unashamedly sunny Hot Chip, the album is full of songs that you can sing along to. Below is the lead-off song from the album, the fun and lovely "Don't Fuck With My Money:"



Don't Fuck With My Money by Penguin Prison



As to our game of the day, Racing Penguin, it just barely edges out Penguin Prison as the most precious of our current competitors. Available for free download for your i-Pods, -Pads, and -Phones, the game has you manning a cute little penguin through the perilous hills and valleys scrolling across Antarctica, using your wings to help your flight and speed to escape the dangers of a polar bear on hot pursuit. While the game designers clearly missed every penguin special on animal planet for, like, ever that would have told them that penguins can't fly with those old flaps, the game has still managed to often edge out the ubiquitous Angry birds as the most downloaded free game from the Apple App store. Unlike yesterday's Meowcenaries, Racing Penguin skips all the bloody gore when your penguin fails to win his race against the bear. In other words, when the bear catches up, you can rest assured that there will be no penguins sliced open, ravenously eaten, and gutted until the snow is stained red with offal within a 4 yard radius of the carcass. Nah, this one's good for all the kids, and will DEFINITELY not ever be accused of being a gateway to listening to Scandinavian Death Metal (bummer).

10/19/11: Racing Penguin vs. Penguin Prison

What's black and white and red all over? The battlefield after this War of the Penguins! (cue ominous music here) Which ones play and which ones do you play?

Electric Tickle Machine = Band, Meowcenaries = Game

Wait, did I say bag of fun? Never mind. One read of Electric Tickle Machine's bio and subsequent Twitter feed (@lectrictickles) is enough to make me never want to hear their music. Why spend three paragraphs explaining where your name came from when something like Electric Tickle Machine should just stand alone,right? Well, no, apparently the name has something to do with the following unintelligible pseudo-intellectual crapola according to the ETM:

"We vicarious voyeurs have seen the magnifying glass put up to the magnifying glass, and in the process, the substance has become an ugly, addictive abstraction of the heart of the matter. Context and intention are oft overlooked. "Give us us junk food!" Andre Codreseu writes in The Posthuman Dada Guide, "If the 20th century has taught us anything it is that we will forget everything except for the wrapper it came in." So how does an artist, privy to his own cultural landscape and implicitly dialed into its carriers, address the modern paradox of feeling and creation? How do we wrap our present tense and justify our participation? Will our best intentions and conscience prevail over our easy-tos and can we still conjure some wilderness?"

Man, talk about taking the humor out of a perfectly, hilariously, stupid band name! But, despite my best instincts, I figured I'd give the music a listen anyway, because THIS is the album cover:



Who doesn't like a little "accidental" underboob nip slip, right? Well, shitfire and save the bullets, but the music isn't so bad. Rambling, loose and ramshackle guitars over deep punk tom tom drumming, vocals halfway between a hoarse Frank Black yell and a self-satisfied punchline...okay, yeah, I'm not mad at it. But I still think that they should cut the shit and just let their name be funny.

Meowcenaries. Now there's a different story entirely."A kitten-based attack game" once again by our friends at Adult Swim, Meowcenaries (one of the greatest game names ever!)are a top secret band of mercenary kittens that speak like LOLcatz and must rescue the president. But watch out, because your enemies will have no problem splattering your little kitty brains all over the screen. Killer indeed. Play it free online here.

10/18/11: Electric Tickle Machine v. Meowcenaries

Can you tell? Which is the band and which is the game app? Because I can't, even though both sound like a bag of fun.